Moments

There are perfect moments.
The moments when I'm holding you
That make it worth it.

Being a mom is hard work.
It's exhausting most days.
And the short breaks I get
Are usually occupied by dishes
Or laundry...
Or grocery shopping.

Slowly but surely I'm getting the hang.
I feel confident in my parenting.
I love watching you smile.
I crave your warmth.
I feel like I have known you all my life.

A few years ago I was depressed. 
Depressed enough I didn't want to live anymore.
I prayed, oh how I prayed for a purpose.
I have very vivid dreams. 
Almost every night.
After months of longing to be gone from this world I had a dream.
I felt happy.
I was smiling.
I was sitting in a grassy field
Crossed legged
And this sweet little girl was sitting in my lap
She was only 3 or 4
Giggling as I tickled her toes.
She had curly blonde hair and deep blue eyes
I was peaceful and calm
All was right in this world.
She was perfect.
My reason to live.

I've known since then I was going to have a little girl first.
You brighten up our lives;
Make us better people.
Better parents.
Better teammates.

You have my heart forever.